On the one hand, there is the desire to nourish them as well as possible and to get absolutely everything right. On the other hand, the response from the table comes immediately: “I don’t like that!” or “I want pasta with ketchup instead!”
And there you are, caught in a dilemma with all your good intentions: Do you stick to your plan, or do you give in to your children’s wishes? Not an easy decision.
My first tip: Take a deep breath and relax.
What to Do When Your Child Refuses to Eat
A strict approach is not necessary at all. If your child has no appetite for broccoli or carrots on a given day, then it’s pasta with ketchup. No child develops malnutrition just because the vegetables are left on the plate once in a while.
The bigger picture matters far more – the basic eating habits in everyday life. And that is usually exactly where the crux of the matter lies.
Many parents tell me they worry that vegetables are refused on principle in their home. The result: constant discussions, power struggles and a sour mood at the table. A real nightmare for the whole family.
The key to more ease is often astonishingly simple: Let your children take part in decisions and join in.
“Grocery shopping together was always the highlight of the week in my childhood. The ritual of choosing, together with Mum and Grandma, the things we would eat has shaped my diet to this day.”
Anne Krenzin
I still remember my own childhood well: every Wednesday afternoon, I went shopping with my mother and my grandmother – two kilometers on foot with the shopping trolley, and I loved it! I got a say in what would be cooked. And yes, a little sweet treat was always allowed, of course.
But something else left a far deeper impression: the colorful fruit and vegetable section fascinated me. All those colors practically invited me to reach out and help myself. At home, the fruit then sat within easy reach in a bowl in the middle of the kitchen table – and that is exactly where I helped myself, quite naturally.
Natural Habit vs. Pressure
I still do it this way today: fruit belongs in plain sight, not hidden away in the fridge under the motto “out of sight, out of mind.” What is present gets eaten – entirely without pressure. And a colorful bowl like that looks lovely, too.
As a child, I was often there when we cooked, too. At first I only watched with curiosity; later we chatted while chopping and I got to lend a hand. I was part of the process – and so I also felt connected to what ended up on the plate afterwards.
This kind of participation is something you can give your children in everyday life – and yes, within a safe framework, it works even with the youngest.
Ways for Children to Get Involved in Cooking
A Strategy for Grocery Shopping
Let your children choose the vegetables themselves, after you have set the framework and boundaries. The vibrant colors will spark their interest.
Preparing Food Together
Children can cut soft ingredients themselves. Let them add the ingredients to the bowl, stir the sauce and peek into the pots.
Family Meals with Everyone
Plating the meal together and setting the table independently strengthen your child’s sense of self-efficacy. And the highlight is enjoying the meal with the whole family.
Cooking together doesn’t have to be limited to the classic Christmas cookie baking (which, in my opinion, is overrated anyway).
Anyone who chooses, washes and prepares the ingredients themselves naturally develops curiosity. Children are proud of their own creation – and of course they then want to know how it tastes. Vegetables suddenly become interesting rather than suspicious.
Pressuring phrases such as “You eat what’s put on the table!” or “No dessert without vegetables!” are something you can finally spare yourselves.
Of course: letting children join in the kitchen costs time and patience at first, and perhaps a few more crumbs on the floor. I can already hear the objection: “We simply don’t have the time for that in the hustle and bustle of daily life.”
But sometimes we are allowed to reset our priorities. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate meal on a hectic Tuesday evening – the weekend offers the perfect, stress-free space for it. The question is: What do we want more in the long run? Stressful power struggles or relaxed meals with the whole family?
It’s best to start with quick, uncomplicated recipes. With a little routine, chopping together quickly becomes a beloved family ritual that everyone enjoys.
By the way, you’ll find more inspiration for quick, simple and affordable recipes here on the blog in the “Recipes” section.
